when the music fades
by Sane-in-Insanity
Summary: Dean/Castiel — "I got you, Cas." It's all he needs to hear.


_Note: I suppose this is a sort of a pre-End'-Verse fic with a fallen Cas and solo Dean.  
Note2: There's a companion piece to this called _cause and effect_. It'd be great if you check that one out too :)_

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**when the music fades**

"_I got you, Cas." It's all he needs to hear._

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Angels don't sleep.

Because of that, when one falls from Heaven, it's the most difficult mundane requirement to fulfil, at least for Castiel. He has long mastered every other aspect of humanity, since before his fall, but sleep—a heightened anabolic state that induces a momentary lapse of consciousness—is something Castiel can't do and _he doesn't know why_.

Once, Dean described sleep as one of the "best things ever". As an angel, Castiel never understood. As a human, he still doesn't; sleeping means being completely vulnerable to anything and everything. How does anyone indulge in that?

Castiel has long given up on trying to sleep. Clumsy with sheer exhaustion and fatigue (a common symptom of insomnia, Castiel knows), he sits up on his bed, pulling his knees up and burying his head within his arms.

"Cas?" Dean mumbles from the bed next to Castiel's, voice hoarse and sluggish. He pushes himself up and peers at Castiel. "You 'kay?"

"Can't sleep, as usual," Castiel replies somewhat dryly, not bothering to even glance at the man. "Don't worry about me, Dean."

There is a long stretch of silence that tells Castiel that Dean probably isn't going back to sleep anytime soon, and he inwardly sighs. He isn't quite in the mood to argue with Dean, so he keeps silent.

"How long has it been since you last slept?"

It takes a moment for Castiel to formulate an answer. "Since the day I fell," he answers flatly.

After his Grace was torn from his being, he was entirely drained, physically and mentally, and lost consciousness because of it. It felt like being helplessly trapped in a torrent of abyss, haunted by his worst memories and wicked, twisted shapes and noises and screams before he jerked wide awake in a violent fit.

That is something Castiel never wants to experience again.

"That's five days ago," Dean points out unnecessarily. "You've gone mortal now. You need to sleep, or you'll—"

"Die?" Castiel interjects, more sharply than he intends, but there's no taking it back now. "Right now, it seems like the more favorable option to me."

Dean looks stricken, and Castiel feels instantly ashamed of himself for being so appallingly weak. "You don't meant that," Dean says, more quietly that Castiel is used to hearing him. Somehow, it scares him a little.

Shoulders slumped in defeat, Castiel falls back onto the mattress heavily and turns away from Dean. "Good night, Dean." It's going to be a long night for him, but it doesn't have to be the same for the Winchester.

With a soft creak, the empty side of Castiel's bed dips slightly. He flinches when he feels Dean's warm breath fanning across the nape of his neck. A muscled arm drapes around Castiel's waist and pulls him closer.

"What are you doing, Dean?" Castiel demands stiffly, not daring to move an inch.

"It's worth a try," Dean mutters. "M'not gonna let you die on me from something as ridiculous as insomnia."

"You don't need to—"

"Good night, Cas."

Castiel falls silent, too tired to object any further. He squirms slightly to get more comfortable and commands his muscles to loosen up. He closes his eyes, acutely aware of the steady rhythm of Dean's heart beating against Castiel's back. He finds solace in this, counting the number of beats along with his own.

_Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump…_

Everything is ablaze around Castiel, red-hot and piercing. There's an abhorrent stench of something burning that he can't identify. It smells like something vaguely like—Castiel's eyes widen in absolute horror—his _wings_. His Grace is sizzling in the sweltering pit along with his very consciousness, bound in orange glowing chains that threaten to sear through his being.

Castiel struggles and thrashes vainly, hoping to somehow break out of his infallible prison. It's impossible, he knows; once you're ensnared in Hell, you _belong _to Hell, even if you're an angel. There's no way out unless a warrior of God raises you from perdition. Even then, it's a risky operation.

A figure hovers above Castiel that catches his attention. Through layers and layers of agony and heat, he manages to make out the features. _Dean Winchester_, he realises with dread. When he looks closer, he can see that no, it's not really Dean, because his eyes are demonic black and the sneer that is carved on his lips is too full of malice and perverse joy. _It's not Dean_, Castiel tells himself with iron-hard conviction. _It's not Dean._ Yet, Castiel can't help but think of all those years ago when he witnessed Dean in Hell before pulling him out. He seems different this time, though. There is more _demon_ in him now and less _human_, if there's even any left.

The demon-Dean grins even wider and holds up a pair of pliers. Castiel stares at him, determined not to show weakness in front of this creature. He clamps his jaws as tight as he could to keep from crying out, but when the metal instrument locks itself between Castiel's wings and starts ripping and tearing, Castiel _breaks_ and he screams—

He jolts awake, sweating and gasping profusely, his heart writhing wildly against his ribs like a butterfly in a net.

Dean's arm tightens around him almost protectively. "I got you, Cas," he whispers. "I got you."

It's only then he notices the bruising grip he has on Dean's hand, and he relaxes his fingers. _A bad dream—that's all it was. _Castiel inhales deeply and closes his eyes. It wasn't the first nightmare to come, and it wouldn't be the last, but in a way, Castiel doesn't mind too much because Dean has him and he has Dean and perhaps, just perhaps—that's enough to make things better.

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_Hope you guys enjoyed reading! Please don't favorite without reviewing! Reviews are loved :3_

_And please read _cause and effect _if you enjoyed this one ^^_


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